Have your emotions caused a significant impact with you and those around you recently? Have they been a distraction from completing your tasks and goals? There are many great quotes about emotions, especially anger. Aristotle states that anybody can become angry-it’s easy, but to be angry at the right person and to the right degree and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way- that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. How has anger played out with you?
Recently there’s been many changes going on around the people I enjoy being with, but their emotions have played a significant role. In the work-place area one of our team-members hasn’t been able to work with us because they just had surgery, so everyone had to have a change of plans, and organize themselves to do their roles in a much more structural manner that could still benefit us all.
At first we had trouble, we weren’t adapting to the new changes we had to make over that period of time. Members would lack in time of completing their tasks and blaming others would occur on the spot. Some would say “If you could’ve finished this task much sooner, we would’ve been caught up by now.” After hearing this how will the person receiving this feel? He didn’t go up to him to discussed about the issue on their own time, instead he held all the negativity in. And what happens when we hold on to negativity that causes us to create angry emotions? It blows up.
As he worked over these last few days, he kept holding on to his anger. You could see it in his face he was trying his best to hold it in. He couldn’t. As soon as they blamed at him again, he bashed out onto everyone and snapped. He shouted how much he hated everyone and didn’t want to see them. Threw his tools and other people’s belongings to the ground with force and flew right off the door. Nobody said anything, it was quiet for a minute. As he left, the person in charge has to take action because he was being driven by excessive emotion. He had to be guided on controlling his emotions in a better matter, and he did just that. As soon as someone is going through anger emotions it’s best to let them take some space, but also we have to confront the situation right away because it may get worse.
Buddha states that holding on to emotion is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. When you express your anger towards someone we have to realize that the one receiving the anger will not be affected, rather it will be yourself. I went through this recently as well. Although I felt like I never was did well at holding my emotions in, I’ve improved at finding better ways to express and relief them in a more convenient manner.
There’s this special person I enjoy talking with, we talk about everything. When ever I have anything to say or show about any topic, she is the one who I go to first because I want to see what she has to say. We tend to resolve each others issues and give advice that would benefit one another.
A special day for her comes up, and I start thinking what can I give her that I know will show how much I appreciate her. I’m not very good with making these type of decisions, it felt as if time passed by quickly as I began to think this over repeatedly. As the day finally hit, I already made gift reservations that I know she would enjoy, the only problem was that she wasn’t going to expect it to arrive til next month, which was weeks to come. She said it was okay, I had no need to worry, but somehow I was still caught up with it that no it was not okay because of the scheduled date the item would arrive. The next day I’m informed that she doesn’t need it because she’s happy with what she’s got. The way I read this drove me completely off guard. I didn’t know what to say, and my frustrating emotions couldn’t be held in. I had to tell her that her response was nothing more but a selfish act. She didn’t take it too kindly. It felt as if both of us didn’t have a complete understanding.
After unleashing my frustration towards her, I realized that in reality it didn’t make any damage to her but rather to myself, she didn’t want to speak to me at the time. Not that I was saddened by the issue but by noticing that just a few days prior, we spoke to each other how we normally did before the releasing of excessive emotions. And it’s unbelievable how emotions can change everything in an instant. One day you are in a positive mood, the next day you are in a negative. I had to speak with her quickly and couldn’t hold back any longer. It felt like I affected her by changing the way we view each other now, and I had to take action. I think by not resolving the issue quickly would’ve made things much worse, as I previously stated. She had to acknowledge that I was driven by frustration at the time and didn’t think before I spoke. I’m not sure if its changed our bond but we’ve had prior arguments before as well and we both came to agreement to avoid these conflicts as much as possible.
Looking back at this whole conflict over one small thing just seemed so silly. Not that I want it to come off as offending to her, but rather knowing that I made one small issue into a large one. Resulting in time wasted that could’ve been gained to further improve ourselves and discuss on more important issues that would help us both. It became a distraction would you say. Instead it resulted of loss interest, not speaking to each other and negative vibe between us. We have to forgive our emotions because they can make an negative impact on us and those around. She is one of the very few key people I enjoy spending time with because of the motivation I gain with her to keep going forward, and the mindset of being on track with goals I’ve set myself with.
How have emotions played out with you in your experiences? What strategies do you use to control them at best? And how do you handle a situation when you witness someone being out of control with their emotions?
Kev’s Response Blog 