Eye to Eye Avoidance: Conflict at Church

Many people come and go for those that have attended church for so long. We meet great people and the not so great. Something that came to mind was that over time I’ve seen drama explode inside the church and people making their decision to part ways. People part ways for the reasoning of a disagreement they had with someone, gossiping, or perhaps loss interest and failed to solve the problem.

If we ever accidentally see them again at a restaurant, church attendees house or anywhere outside the church facilities, there are three things I’ve seen occur. They come over to warmly greet you being accepting, they acknowledge you and move on not to start a conversation or they’d simply ignore you not see eye to eye. So what I ask is for those that ignore them, are they still upset over the argument they had? Could they not move on from the past? Is it simply the fact that they feel ashamed when they look at them or are they holding a grudge?

Going to a marriage accompanying my parents, I got the chance to greet old friends and people I grew up with when I was young. These people to me are great, they learned so much, grew and went their ways to improve the lives of others. They are the ones who left the organization for their own reasoning but are always loving with open arms happy to greet you warmly. And then on the other side there are those that left because of rough arguments and gossip. Their expressions on some of their faces was priceless, that surprised look and quickly looking down pretending they haven’t noticed us. I wouldn’t know what’s going through their mind, but maybe it’s an embarrassment feel because they look as if they’re hiding. This is the part where either one of us has to step up and lead. Going up to them, they have this cold facial expression, they’re not too pleased of the greet. Their body language is not showing interest rather moving away. So I spoke with them how they’ve been and their responses were very short. My thoughts are what’s going on? Are they still upset over the argument?

I don’t have a clear remembrance of the speaker’s entire quote, but i captured one important statement. It is stating that “Hate is a waste of time.” When we keep hating someone, we are putting valuable time thinking about that one person and instead we should use that time benefiting from something else. We are not all perfect and we may have disagreements about a certain part, but we have to learn to move on. I’ve seen people where they have disagreement about a certain topic although they may have the same agreements about other issues. After battling it out on one certain issue they no longer see each other eye to eye nor speak to each other. They perhaps are waiting on one another to see who will step up and take the lead.

What are the process you do to solve this issue? Is there a certain time given before you start speaking with this person again after having a conflict? Did it go good or bad? How has it benefited you learning from this experience? Hope we can all come to realize that when this occurs, you have to take the lead.

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